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Chevron just pulled off the environmental equivalent of crashing your car into a tree and getting a trophy for “not hitting the house.” The Gorgon gas plant in WA—one of Australia’s biggest industrial belchers—managed to pump 8.8 million tonnes of greenhouse gas into the sky last year, yet somehow walked away with 388,803 carbon credits.

That’s over $10 million in green-tinged gold stars for not exceeding its generously padded pollution allowance. Who’s in charge of this scheme—Santa Claus? The brains behind this miraculous eco-loophole is none other than Chevron, that charming multinational fossil fuel giant with a track record of climate ambition that rivals a cigarette at a health retreat.

Their Gorgon facility was supposed to be a poster child for carbon capture and storage (CCS)—aka burying your sins underground—but five years later, it’s more like a kid hiding broccoli under the napkin. Gorgon’s underperformance at actual carbon capture hasn’t stopped it from playing the system like a fiddle, thanks to emission baselines set so high you’d need a telescope to spot them.

Australia’s Safeguard Mechanism, the supposed bouncer at the climate club, seems more like a sleepy mall cop at this point. Instead of punishing companies for belching more than their fair share, it rewards them for polluting slightly less than a target that was inflated in the first place. Experts are fuming, saying this turns carbon accounting into a game of creative bookkeeping—with the worst players still cashing in.

You know it's bad when even environmental consultants start sounding like they’ve given up on logic. This latest round of “Greenwashing Bingo” proves that, in the carbon credit casino, Chevron just hit the jackpot—for doing the absolute bare minimum. Maybe next year, they’ll get an award for “Most Improved Polluter.” Sources: Guardian Australia, ABC News, Australian Financial Review, Renew Economy