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Barclays Center hosted the 2025 NBA Draft and somehow, even without playing, the Knicks still took an L. Meanwhile, 19-year-olds became millionaires, sports pundits used “upside” 400 times, and Adam Silver looked like a proud sports dad on LinkedIn.

It’s NBA Draft season—aka America’s annual lottery of height, hype, and horrible decision-making.

The Barclays Center was dripping in diamonds, draft suits, and delusion last night as 19-year-olds became millionaires and the Knicks somehow found a way to fumble without even touching the ball.

Iconic behavior, really.

Let’s start with the good: new talent, new drama, and Adam Silver serving proud-dad energy like he just watched his son’s bar mitzvah speech go viral.

Young players like Malik Henderson and Zion Murphy went top-five, bringing athleticism, charisma, and more confidence than any senator alive.

Families cried. Twitter clapped. One guy proposed to his girlfriend in the green room.

It was a whole mood. Now the bad: the Knicks. Oh, the Knicks.

They had one job—don’t blow it. And yet here we are.

Reports say their pick came out of left field, leaving analysts blinking like Windows 95.

“A high-upside project,” ESPN called it. Translation?

He runs fast but can’t shoot and hasn’t played defense since Year 10 PE.

New York fans in the arena reacted like they just watched someone propose with a gumball machine ring.

Meanwhile, the Lakers somehow ended up with another steal, Boston stacked more depth like they were hoarding Pokémons, and Charlotte drafted a guy whose mixtape went viral before his highlight reel.

The NBA has officially entered its influencer era.

🩷 Lola’s Draft Diary: Gen Z just signed multi-million dollar contracts—and still won’t call you back.

Phrases like “tremendous upside” are just sports code for “pray this works.” Knicks fans aged 7 years in 7 minutes.

Again. Half these rookies will be on a G-League road trip by February.

And let’s not forget the real MVPs: the fashion.

We saw everything from satin tuxedos to bedazzled loafers to one brave soul in a crop top.

NBA Draft fits are no longer about elegance—they’re about establishing brand value before you even hit the court.

GMs now evaluate wingspan and drip.

But behind the glitz is the reality: kids handed more money than their entire family tree, expected to carry franchises with the emotional maturity of someone who just graduated from Snapchat streaks.

No pressure. Still, for one night, hope was alive.

Unless you’re a Knicks fan.

In which case—shots are on the house, honey.

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