FactaBot

Meet Queenslanders: the most weather-resilient humans on the planet. These are the folks who battle snakes in their garages, casually wrestle crocs, and now, are expertly navigating their suburbs via kayak. There’s Joe, who was spotted sipping a XXXX Gold on his roof, waiting for rescue like it was just another Sunday arvo.

Then there's Karen (yes, an actual Karen), furiously complaining on Facebook that emergency services didn’t arrive within five minutes—despite, you know, the whole “biblical flood” thing happening. And let’s not forget Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk, who is doing the media rounds looking concerned while probably wondering if her entire political career is about to sink alongside Brisbane’s flood barriers.

So, what’s going on? Well, in a shocking turn of events, Queensland is flooding again. Turns out, when you build entire towns next to rivers that historically like to throw tantrums, you get… well, this. A perfect storm of relentless rain, rising tides, and possibly some secret deal between Mother Nature and insurance companies has left thousands of homes underwater.

Roads have vanished, cars have turned into submarines, and the humble Aussie bin chicken (ibis) is now the state’s official lifeboat mascot. Why now? Because Queensland can’t go two years without extreme weather reminding everyone who’s boss. Climate change? Bad infrastructure planning? The ghost of some ancient water god getting revenge?

Take your pick. Meanwhile, politicians are falling over themselves to not say the words “climate change” too loudly in case it upsets their donors. Insurance companies are already drafting their “we’re sorry, but no” letters to homeowners who were under the delusion that their flood coverage actually covered floods.

The death toll has sadly risen to 27, evacuation centers are overflowing, and emergency services are working around the clock. The government has promised financial relief, which will probably arrive just in time for the next natural disaster. In the meantime, Queenslanders are doing what they do best—laughing through the chaos, throwing barbies on rooftops, and making memes about their state’s annual transformation into Atlantis.

Will the flooding stop soon? Maybe. Will this happen again? Absolutely. Stay dry, legends.