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Winds yeeted trampolines into trees, rain turned roads into soup, and the SES racked up over 900 calls while the BoM just said “lol stay home.” Flights grounded, bins gone rogue, and it’s only Monday. God’s weather app clearly glitched.

If you woke up in New South Wales today wondering whether your trampoline had taken flight — you’re not alone.

A ferocious East Coast low has battered large stretches of the state, bringing gale-force winds, power outages, flash flooding, and nearly 1,000 emergency callouts to the SES.

It’s July.

But apparently, Mother Nature’s calendar said “let’s do cyclone season in winter.” From Sydney to the Illawarra and up through the Hunter, the chaos has been relentless.

Trees down, roofs ripped off, rivers breaking their banks, and stormwater drains vomiting brown sludge onto suburban streets.

If you weren’t hit by a tree, you were stuck behind one.

And if you made it through unscathed, congratulations — your car is now an ark.

Flights were delayed. Ferries cancelled. Trains? That’s cute.

Sydney commuters now factor in “minor biblical flooding” as part of their Monday routine.

At one point, the SES was getting over 200 calls per hour, many from families whose homes were taking on water faster than BOM was issuing warnings.

Speaking of BOM — the Bureau of Meteorology, not the thing you yell when your patio door explodes — says the wild system was “forecasted,” but didn’t exactly come with an all-caps red alert.

In fact, residents across the Illawarra were still mowing lawns and hanging washing yesterday before waking up to news choppers flying over their backyard lakes.

The Premier made the rounds, promising support, resilience, and the usual sandwich of concern with a side of “personal responsibility.” But locals are once again asking: why are we so bad at this?

Why is it 2025 and we’re still surprised that rain falls in July?

Why does every “1 in 100-year event” now happen quarterly?

Scientists have been warning for years that the East Coast is becoming more vulnerable to fast-forming storm cells due to warmer sea temperatures.

Infrastructure hasn’t kept up. Drains are clogged. Rivers overflow.

And the only thing that really improves is the spin.

Right now, the clean-up is underway. The SES is stretched.

Insurance companies are drafting their “we regret to inform you” templates.

And the rest of the state is nervously watching the radar while BOM tweets out “possibility of scattered showers.” This isn’t a freak event.

It’s the new normal.

And the longer governments treat these storms like surprise guests instead of permanent housemates, the more homes, lives, and budgets are going to drown in denial.

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