Anthony Albanese just completed the most chaotic Contiki tour in diplomatic history: selfies with the Pope, trade deals with the EU, and a casual side quest to beg for mercy over a jailed Aussie.

It’s not every day your Prime Minister combines incense, imports, and international war crime drama like he’s ticking off a particularly cursed bucket list.

So here’s the cast: Albo, grinning like a Catholic schoolboy on Vatican excursion, popped into Rome for Pope Leo XIV’s inauguration—because apparently nothing cements Australia’s secular foreign policy like a papal power pose.

Then he waltzed into trade talks with the EU, pitching clean energy exports like a man who still believes bureaucrats can fix climate change.

Oh, and then there’s Ukraine’s Volodymyr Zelenskyy, who Albanese briefly met to discuss one Oscar Jenskins—an Australian now serving a 13-year sentence in Russia, allegedly for fighting alongside Ukraine.

Oscar who? Glad you asked.

Jenkins, a former Aussie soldier, allegedly joined Ukraine’s foreign legion in 2022.

Russia nabbed him and branded him a mercenary—translation: convenient bargaining chip.

Albanese has condemned the sentencing as “unjust”, which is polite code for “we’re screwed but trying not to look it.” Let’s zoom out.

The Pope meeting’s a PR glow-up, the EU talks are a climate carrot Australia may never bite, and the Jenkins case is an ugly reminder of what happens when geopolitical cosplay meets real-world consequences.

It also raises the classic Aussie foreign policy question: will polite disappointment get your citizen out of Putin’s dungeon?

Or just earn another press release?

Latest update: Albo says he’s “exploring all options” on Jenkins.

Translation: we’re at “strongly worded letter” phase.

Maybe next trip, he’ll squeeze in a visit to Moscow—right after brunch with the Dalai Lama and a quick NATO dance-off.

Sources: SBS, ABC News, The Guardian, 9News, The Australian (all published 18 May 2025)