Victoria just shouted every teenager a free ride—and no, not metaphorically.

From January, all under-18s will travel public transport for zero dollars.

Seniors get free weekend fares. Total price tag? $318 million.

It’s a cost-of-living “relief” package that smells a lot like distraction perfume for a state drowning in debt.

Premier Jacinta Allan says it’s about “equity and access.” Translation: we’re hoping teenagers will stop vaping on platforms and posting train fights if we make their Myki free.

The move is a national first and a parental dream—finally, a way to get your teen out of the house that doesn’t require bribery, carpooling, or emotional blackmail.

But let’s not ignore the elephant-sized deficit in the room.

Victoria’s debt is ballooning past $200 billion.

That’s more than NSW and Queensland combined.

So either they found a magical money tree, or someone’s hoping the news cycle skips budget questions if they throw enough “free” at the wall.

Critics say the cash could’ve fixed broken services, updated infrastructure, or, wild idea—actually made trains run on time.

Instead, we’re gifting free rides on a system that barely works half the time and occasionally catches fire.

But hey, now your kid can get stuck in a rail delay for free.

Latest update: The policy got cheers from families and crickets from economists.

Teens are thrilled.

TikTok is already full of jokes about joyriding to Kmart with zero guilt.

Meanwhile, Allan insists it’s all part of a bold future plan.

Hopefully one that doesn’t end with IOUs and replacement buses.

Sources: The Guardian, ABC News, 9News (18 May 2025)