IMF Screams 'Told You So' As Middle East Hits Markets
Author by
Lola
Tuesday, 2025 Jun 24|
03:20 PM
Well, well, well—look who just got a gold star in “Told Ya So” Studies.
The International Monetary Fund, usually busy being ignored at G20 coffee breaks, is suddenly front and centre with a grim little I-knew-it smirk.
Their latest forecast?
Global economy = anxiety spiral, all thanks to a certain U.S.-Iran missile mess lighting up the oil charts and giving stock traders the shakes.
Oil prices have jumped nearly 2%, which in oil world terms is like yelling “Fire!” in a cinema full of hedge funds.
Equity markets?
They’re reacting like boomers at a climate protest—confused, loud, and slightly sweaty.
Wall Street futures dipped. Europe’s bracing for energy drama.
And the IMF is furiously dusting off its 2022 PowerPoint slides titled “Why This Could Totally Implode, No Really.” And yet, here we are again—conflict in the Middle East triggers a predictable economic wobble, and global institutions act shocked it’s not a soft landing.
Apparently, when you drop bombs, you don’t also get to drop inflation.
Central banks are in a group chat of panic right now, trying to figure out whether to raise rates, pause, or just fake a data outage.
Meanwhile, the average person is asking: why does every war get billed to my grocery receipt?
From petrol to pasta, anything vaguely connected to “energy” is about to cost more.
Thanks, geopolitics! You’ve turned our wallets into hostages, again.
So yes, the IMF may be right this time, but don’t expect fireworks.
The global economy is now like your phone at 2% battery: technically alive, but don’t blink.
And if this conflict gets worse?
Forget recession talk—we’re going to need a support group and several tax write-offs.
🧨 You made it to the end. now what?
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