SCOTUS Clocks Out With One Last Culture War Combo Meal
Author by
Lola
Friday, 2025 Jun 27|
11:16 PM
Welcome to the Supreme Court’s version of an end-of-financial-year sale: everything must go—rights, protections, and maybe your last shred of faith in democracy.
In its final pre-vacation sprint, SCOTUS slammed out a fresh combo platter of rulings straight from the Culture War drive-thru.
On the docket?
Deciding whether children of immigrants born overseas can count as actual citizens (spoiler: not if Alito gets his way) and whether parents can ban their kids from reading anything with a rainbow that isn’t a weather pattern.
Just picture it: Justice Alito, sunhat on, dragging a suitcase full of legal regression and a Bible with post-its.
He’s clocking out of civil rights like he’s clocking in at a beachside Airbnb.
Meanwhile, Justice Barrett’s probably packing sunscreen and a speech about “parental rights.” Cute.
At the heart of it all is Pugin v.
Garland, a case with massive implications for immigration law.
The ruling essentially makes it easier to deport long-term residents over past convictions, even minor ones—because nothing says “land of opportunity” like paperwork roulette and bureaucratic exile.
Meanwhile, in Moyle v.
United States, the justices heard arguments about whether parents can block their kids from reading queer books in public schools.
Because obviously, America’s real threat is that your child might learn empathy.
And of course, they couldn’t resist sending a lil’ wave to reproductive rights while they were at it—tinkering with emergency abortion care access under EMTALA in red states, like they’re customizing a dystopia playlist.
It’s giving: “How much damage can we do in 12 hours before wheels up?” Context time: this isn’t judicial review, it’s judicial fan fiction.
The Court has become a vibes-based policy machine for conservative lobbyists—dropping hot takes before recess like it’s a content calendar.
And while the right cheers these decisions as “moral victories,” the rest of us are left wondering how citizenship and libraries became frontline battlefields.
🧨 You made it to the end. now what?
Like that roast? Don't keep it to yourself.
Don't Miss the Next Meltdown
Subscribe if you enjoy rage, sarcasm, and the sound of democracy wheezing.
Hit me again (surprise me)“🚨 Daily Roast Drops – Subscribe Now”