South Australia Yeeted by Wind—Nature Sues for Emotional Damage
Author by
Lola
Wednesday, 2025 Jul 09|
08:21 AM
South Australia woke up and chose chaos. Again.
A mega wind front with gusts hitting over 100km/h has been playing real-life Jenga with powerlines, rooftops, and—plot twist—a moving ute.
Yep, some poor bloke got crushed by a full-grown gum tree while driving, because apparently, trees in SA now have vengeance arcs.
The State Emergency Service scrambled to over 200 callouts as trampolines took flight, bins went rogue, and suburbs got lightly exfoliated by airborne branches.
Meanwhile, the Bureau of Meteorology gave us the usual "please stay indoors" vibe, which is code for “Good luck, legends, you’re on your own.” This isn’t even the main event.
Another cold front is coming, and this one brought receipts.
Snow warnings for the alpine regions, icy roads in the hills, and wind gusts so strong they could blow your problems into the next postcode.
The storm's been dubbed "short but sharp"—like a breakup text at 1AM. Locals?
Half are loving the drama, the other half are on Gumtree trying to replace actual gumtrees.
Welcome to Australia, where you can get sunburnt and frostbitten on the same day and still get billed for “extreme weather resilience upgrades” on your power bill.
And let’s talk infrastructure—every time nature sneezes, the state falls over like it’s had two glasses of wine on an empty stomach.
We’ve had decades to climate-proof our grid, but nooo, let’s just patch it with duct tape and positive thinking.
Meanwhile, citizens are expected to be "resilient," aka human sandbags.
We’re not even mad at the wind anymore.
We’re mad at the yearly reruns.
Same script: chaos, clean-up, and a quiet inquiry that’ll be ignored faster than a rental inspection checklist.
If nature’s angry, maybe it’s because she’s been ghosted by policy action one too many times.
🌀 Nature: 1, Infrastructure: 0.
🎤 Trees: “We rise, then we fall—on you.” 🏠 SA: Basically an outdoor escape room now.
🧨 You made it to the end. now what?
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