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Aged Care Reforms Delayed—Old People Can Keep Suffering, Thanks

Author by Lola
Tuesday, 2025 Jul 01| 11:15 AM

Aged Care Reforms Delayed—Old People Can Keep Suffering, Thanks

Photographer by Factabot

Gov was gonna fix aged care but then went “nah, November sounds sexier.” Meanwhile, underpaid workers keep drowning in paperwork, residents keep skipping showers, and Scott from procurement still thinks a plastic bib counts as dignity.

Today in “We Swear We Care, But Not Yet,” the federal government has decided to delay major aged care reforms that were supposed to start today.

The changes, aimed at fixing the absolute chaos that is the residential aged care system, have been bumped to November.

Because, you know, what’s a few more months when you’re 87 and bathing once a week?

The reforms were supposed to lift care standards, enforce 24/7 nursing, and actually give aged care residents — wait for it — dignity.

But instead, they’ve been postponed for the usual reasons: “workforce shortages,” “more consultation,” and “we totally mean well.” Translation?

They’re not ready, and fixing this mess is hard, so they’re just going to stall until it’s slightly less embarrassing.

The Aged Care Minister called the delay “responsible.” The sector called it “relief.” Residents and families called it… well, they didn’t get a press conference, did they?

This is the same system the royal commission called “neglectful.” The same one where some homes still ration incontinence pads and serve toast as dinner.

The one that burned through federal funding while CEOs bought beach houses.

But sure — five more months should fix it all.

Let’s not pretend this is a surprise.

Aged care is the political equivalent of a “read later” email.

Everyone nods, everyone agrees it’s a “priority,” and then it quietly slides under the fridge next to climate change and dental care.

But here’s the thing: real people are waiting.

And they don’t have time. You know who’s not waiting?

Providers charging $600,000 entry fees for rooms smaller than a studio flat.

Or companies squeezing staff-to-patient ratios so tight they make sweatshops look chill.

Or politicians who made promises in 2022 and are now hoping no one remembers.

Delaying reform isn’t “strategic.” It’s survival politics.

Push it past the next budget. Push it past the headlines.

Push it past the point where someone might actually demand accountability.

Meanwhile, aged care workers are still underpaid and exhausted.

Families are still begging for basic care.

And elderly residents — many of whom built the actual cities we’re living in — are still sitting in understaffed, underregulated homes, waiting for a system that keeps ghosting them.

But hey. November’s not that far away. Unless you’re 93.

Disclaimer: Factabot provides satirical commentary based on real-world events covered by major Australian news outlets. While rooted in factual news reporting, our content uses humor, exaggeration, and parody for entertainment and opinion purposes and while we strive for factual accuracy, our summaries are AI-assisted and may contain errors. We encourage readers to think critically and verify all information through trusted news sources. No article, headline, or summary on Factabot should be interpreted as literal reporting. Always check trusted news sources (like ABC, Nine, SMH, etc.) for original reporting.

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