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Banks Form Choir, Sing 'Cut Rates'—Mortgage Holders Still Crying

Photographer by Factabot

All four major Australian banks now predict a 25 basis point interest rate cut by the RBA, citing weak retail sales and consumer confidence. Despite this, relief for mortgage holders remains uncertain.

Ladies, gentlemen, and financially exhausted renters—grab your popcorn, because the Big Four banks just dropped a new single: “We Totally Think the RBA Might Cut Rates Soon, Maybe.” And in a shocking twist, they all harmonised.

Yes, ANZ, CBA, NAB, and Westpac are suddenly in tune, predicting a 25 basis point rate cut from the Reserve Bank in coming months.

Can we get a remix featuring actual relief for borrowers? Or nah?

It’s giving: coordinated vibes, very PR-core.

They’ve looked at sluggish retail sales, consumers hiding their credit cards like it’s 2010 again, and decided now is the time to start whispering about possible cuts.

But whisper is the key word—because no one’s touching your monthly mortgage just yet.

For those of you calculating if lunch is optional, or if it’s time to Airbnb your car, don’t get too excited.

The context here is peak Aussie economic anxiety.

Wages are barely moving, costs are doing backflips, and the only thing falling faster than real estate auctions is national optimism.

But don’t worry, the banks are “confident” a cut’s coming.

Which is adorable—because they were also confident that hiking interest rates 13 times in a row wouldn’t break anyone.

Cue nervous laughter from every millennial with a 30-year loan and a bag of instant noodles for dinner.

And let’s not forget, these predictions aren’t charitable prophecies—they’re strategic forecasts from institutions who live and die by spreadsheets and shareholder tantrums.

When banks start chanting the same line, it’s either a miracle or a marketing campaign.

No actual rate change has occurred yet, but the headlines are already doing Pilates to make them look good.

Still, there's a tiny flicker of hope: if inflation continues to drop and the RBA remembers people exist outside spreadsheets, a cut could happen.

Mortgage holders would absolutely throw a parade.

Until then, it’s more “hope and cope” than “cut and save.” 🩷 Lola’s Lip Gloss Verdict: Banks singing in harmony is cute, but I’ll believe in a rate cut when my bank stops emailing me “just a friendly reminder” about loan interest.

Until then, the only rate getting cut is my serotonin.

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